living with hiv

                         LIVING WITH HIV

I felt a strange trauma when I saw those children labelled as hiv positive. I asked one small boy probably 6 or 7 yr old-“unnaku enna achu(what happen to you)”-he happily replied Hiv positive…the truth stand before me and urged me to believe it but yet my heart pinched to accept it. There were 45 children in HOPE organization. HOPE-Helping Of People Everywhere is an orphanage cum a hiv care centre for children. HOPE is the hope of these children in three places-Tirunelveli, Trichy & Chennai…some of us from Government College of engineering went to be their companion for a day. Not all children were victims of hiv some were orphans but all of them were victims of destiny. They all were of different age, different family but the bond between them was like a family, a family where each one is fighting against something which they don’t even know, something that was not their fault but still they bear it without any complaint, still they are happy, still they never blame their parents .But I can’t cease myself blaming those parents. We conducted various types of games for the children. They were so happy. There were two or three children aged less than four. Most of them were 7-13 yrs old with benign nature. There was one and the only girl who knew my tongue…finally I thought I could peep their lifestyle. Her name is Subharisha, she is in class 9.I asked her how come you are here, what happened to you ? She replied-“I am hiv and I am from Mumbai. I came to HOPE 1 year ago. I bombarded her with all the questions   suppressed in my heart .She answered politely-“my father and mother both were aids patient and by the time they saw mirror it was too late for them as well as for me. My younger brother is also here, he doesn’t have hiv. When my parents shifted their home to heaven my grandfather shifted us to tirunelveli in tamil nadu . We were happy coming to grandpa but he was not. He didn’t treat us well. We became a burden to him, such a burden that his old shoulders could not carry. He then left us here. I am very happy here. Sometime our mausi (mother’s sister) used to call us to her home. She is very nice.”I asked her-don’t you feel sad? Don’t you remember your parents? she replied –“yes I do but……”she smiled. What is your aim in life? I enquired.”I want to be engineer like you, eehhh.. civil engineer”, She said. But I have phobia of Math .She then introduced me to senior most hiv patient who recently arrived from chennai’s hope centre. She has telugu tongue and is studying in class 10.She is one of those patient on whom art(antiretroviral treatment) was first tried in india .She told “prior to art I use to have frequent fever, joint pain, body ache, but now its much-much better. She could speak broken English with a confident smile. I just wished her luck. Subharisha   showed me their den. There was a separate sleeping room for boys and girls, separate bathroom and a common sick room for those who become serious. There was a kitchen where 2-3 ladies were busy cooking. There was a mess outside and a recreation room inside with an idiot box. There were two nurses and a doctor at service. They used to have study hours in the evening. They all are going to school, that’s great .what do you like besides study I asked her-“I like dancing and drawing”. So you use to dance in your school-?”no they never select me” she said. why?? “I don’t know” she said. So everyone in your school knows that you have hiv? ”yes all teachers know but all students don’t know”-she said. I thought of asking how people behave in school but I ceased considering her sentiments. Basically their  lifestyle is akin to that of boarding school. There were few caretakers and few tutors .For few days few of the parents use to take their kids and then return back just like a boarding school .They even use to go for tour once or twice in a year. During lunch we serve them and that gave such a nice feeling .The junior most hiv holder nearly 3-4 yrs old who can’t even pronounce hiv slept while eating.The lady in-charge pampered her and fed him with her hand. I just felt that how lucky, not lucky, how blessed we are to have our parents, Still we demand god in every prayer. After food they became dude and begin to roar on the dance floor. We distributed cakes, ice-creams, pencil, eraser, etc. They mingled with us so well as if we were their brothers of past generation .Actually children are love hunters. Wherever they get they just go. It was the time to say goodbye .All the children assembled and prayed for our well being and our success .While going I just advised subharisha to be the best in dance so that they never get any reason to reject you and obviously study well. She told- “come again” .They all waved their hand as we disappeared. Subharisha is still lucky in contrast to those bundles of children in village and slums who are just left alone to fight against hiv till they close their eyes. So many awareness programmes, speech, drama, rally etc are done but still we are not aware. Protection regarding sex is not the only prevention, it includes many small things directly or indirectly .If it’s the mistake of elders then why should the children be victims. We can have blood check up before our marriage. Our traditions and culture may restrict but we have to start a new tradition, a healthy tradition of having blood check-up before marriage so that our children’s future is not jeopardized. We have to quickly build a barrier against the hiv tsunami before it engulf us and our dreams.

Anuj kumar shah……

3 year,ece

Govt. college of engg.

Tamil nadu